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| alternative...
well... since I decided to try and give up myspace for lent, I figure this is a good alternative. Even though only a handfull of people read this, it'll give me something to do. When I'm online I'm either on myspace, or browsing at stuff to buy. Since I don't want to spend money here I am. I left other ways of contacting me on my page so I'm hoping some people actually make an effort to email. I know how much easier it is on myspace but we didn't ALWAYS have it, and sometimes it can be a little more informal than an email... whatever...
anyway...
Ash Wednesday yesterday and I was at work. Its an exercise week and I'm working the night shift. I was talking with my friend on AFIM (Air Force Instant Messenger...  ) and he was telling me how the chaplain had just came by and did a 10 minute ceremony for their work center. So I made a few phone calls and one of the people in my senior leadership called a chaplain and he was on his way. I felt bad because he got stuck outside for a while when an Alarm went off, and he had to be in his chem gear. But he finally made it in and they made an announcement for the bldg that a chaplain was there and if anyone wanted to participate in a short Ash Wednesday service. No one else came down so he just did it for me then left. It was definitely a first. Ash Wednesday service at my work center, with my uniform on, my chem suit on and my gas mask strapped to my leg. Can't imagine if this whole ordeal had been a real world situation.
Well time for me to grab a quick bite and head off to work... hopefully this will be the last night and this whole thing ends tomorrow. I've got my fingers crossed!
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| can't sleep...
midnight thirty.
not even sure if anyone reads this but i figure typing away might make me sleepy.
i debated going back and deleting the older entries, especially the one wishing Tony a happy birthday, this that and what not, but i decided to leave it. fuck it, i can go back and read it later and laugh out loud, shake my head and think... wow, what the hell...
its always the end of the year when stuff gets crazy. last year with my family drama and this year with all this crap. i think relocating did me a lot of good though. as much as i cried about being here, away from my newborn nephew, my growing niece, so close but still so far from my mama... i've openned up to this place. keep tellin' myself its only a year so i better make the most of it.
who knows where i'll end up next but lets cross our fingers for my follow on cancellation getting approved. i keep sayin it would be such a sweet 23rd birthday gift. its out of my hands now, all i can do is wait.
i was talking to my brother today. we were talking about me getting out or staying in the military. i told him i wanted to get out and have babies. HA! he said i was too young. he's right. i'll have mine when the time comes, till then i've got my noni and santiago and my little ivan back in the philippines. but sheesh, i just feel like everybody and their mother, brother, sister and cousin are getting married, havin babies, and starting a family. just gotta remind myself that thats not the direction i'm headed quite yet.
so i finally went out this past weekend. i've held all the dance in me for a little bit i figure i let some out. see what some of the night life was about out here. of course, much like it was in Ramstein, right outside the gate is pretty military... one of my friends told me it gets pretty old so no rush. it was alright though. just getting out, hangin out with folks was nice... didn't have to drink to have a good time and seeing familiar faces always makes me smile. i saw a few of those too.
okay... i guess i'll try the sleep thing again...
fyi
the typing helped.
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| So anyway...
Well...
its definitely been a while...
and so much has changed since my last entry...
I've gone through so much in such a short amount of time...
goodness.
I'll have to update sometime soon...
but for now its bed time in my new home...
Osan, Korea
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Make Me Whole - Amel Larrieux...
Darling I want you to listen
I stayed up all night, so I could get this thing right
And I don't think there's anything missing
Cause a person like you, made it easy to do
I've waited for so long, to sing to you this song
Cause your eyes are the windows to heaven
Your smile could heal a million souls
Your love completes my existence
You're the other half that makes me whole
You're the only other half that makes me whole
I think the angels are your brothers
They told you about me, said you're just what she needs
And I find myself thanking your mother
For giving birth to a saint
My spirit flies when I say your name
If there's one thing that's true
It's that I was born to love you
You make my dreams
Come true over and, over again
And I honestly truly believe
You and me are written in the stars
I live my whole life through
To giving thanks to you
Cause your eyes are the windows to heaven
Your smile could heal a million souls
Your love completes my existence
You're the other half that makes me whole
You're the only other half that makes me whole
My Tony Lee...
approximately 38 days until I get to come home to him.
We talked tonight, like we do every night.
I hate being so far away from him, our conversation wasn't as lively as it normally is. Something was amiss and as hard as I tried there was no immediate fix. I feel so helpless out here  Something a simple look into his eyes and a sincere I love you could easily fix... and I can't even do that... "black and white text" and limited phone calls is it. I come home to a month with him then one more milestone to over come. A year in Korea.
How perfect would it be if I could skip Korea and go straight to Florida. If I could say Peace out to the Air Force and live with him in Florida and go to school. Get married and have babies.  HA!
But... I can't. I have to be patient, and keep reminding myself that good things come to those who wait... and in this case... AMAZING things come to those who wait... cause thats what he is...
The only other half that makes me whole... 
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He turns 23 today. I won't be there but I'll make up for it when I get home in 20 days 
. Thats right ladies and gents... I said it, 20 days!!!
" Openned it up, read the card... amazing of course... and then picked up the book. Haven't heard of it before but I quickly openned it up and instantly noticed that it was highlighted and there were little notes written in it. He highlighted "He looked forward to those simple moments..." "..but what he enjoyed most of all were those mornings when they could sleep in, then wake up slowly together." "... he was sure she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen" then he wrote "YOU" next to that one... I've read up to chapter 5 so far. I just keep wanting to read to see what else he's highlighted. But seriously... how freakin' sweet is that!?!?! He read a book he would not normally read, then highlighted and made comments as he read it. He's the best and I just wanted to share that with you 
